Poems to soothe the soul


February 2016


We only have mature conversations when we scream
Why is so difficult suddenly to say what we mean?
You insisted that trust was crucial in every bond
You corrected me each time I did anything wrong

Then why does it all of a sudden feel that we are lost
Why do i have to say the things I want through a song
Why can’t it all be the way it was back before
Back when I put up my walls and you built a door

‘Cause now I try to mend this rift and build bridges to you
And you’ve decided to bring up new shit out of the blue
I tend to cut you down ’cause I know you’re strong
I’m scared to watch you leave if I do something wrong

And I wish for you all night when you’re no-place here
I’m tired of waiting for you to come wipe away my tears
Now my broken heart has realised what it truly needs
Come back to me,my love, ’cause without you there’s no me



They told me I would be a mess for years to come
I told them I’d rather be a mess than fall in love
I feigned nonchalance each time they found a kink
I knew they loved me,but they’d pay to watch me sink

So I showed them how you could sail without their love
But the horrible irony is I can’t seem to do it right now
After all the harlems of hate I sang in despite
Now I wake up in the morning having not slept all night

It seems now as though he cast a spell as he left
‘Cause everything reminds me of the time that we spent
And I could go on now without this love I think I need
And I could play it back to all times I paid no heed

But how do I fill this hollow heart that beats for him alone
How do I let him know he can’t just apologise on the phone
Or that there has been no sunshine since he’s gone
I’ve been spending all my time trying to write him a song

I wonder what to say to him when the time is right
Wonder how to clear my name and not pick up a fight
‘Cause we yell at each other and then we feel bad
Should’ve chosen not to stay,then I wouldn’t make you so mad

But since we know we’re in this muddle together
We know now that we only have each other
So we will prove it to them,how big a mess we can be
We’ll become pretty angels for this demonic world to see

We will love each other till we can’t love anyone else
We will show them we can go on without their help
Then we will show them how we chose to brave it all
‘Cause what’s life without a mess and thats why we chose to fall!


“Abort!”, she screamed at the top of her voice
But the panic in her lungs choked the sound in her
Her desperate orders were screamed in vain
The street before her now turning into a blur

Her well-trained mind telling her it was a sedative
Her hands flailing around trying to find its source
Her mouth trying to form words into the mouthpiece
But she realised she had screamed herself hoarse

Trying to connect the dots before she lost consciousness
Playing back every recent image she had in her mind
She was supposed to be the best in this field
And now a dead-end clue was all she could find

Her training told her what to do during an attack
But against a full on sedative she was all but helpless
She urged the earpiece to ring, someone to find her
But she knew they were all in trouble themselves

As she swayed between flashback and reality
She realised she had no good memories left
She didn’t know who to blame-the drug or the truth
But it would be a lie if she said her time was well spent

All those years training for this one mission
And when the day had come she chose to screw it up
All she had to was set her heart on the right course
But every skilful agent knows that is not enough

The sedative showing her vivid images of the past
Cruelly throwing all the sad ones under the spotlight
She knew in her heart that her end would soon arrive
But her sedated head refused to even put up a fight

For all was indeed lost and the battle had just begun
This was not going to be any happy ending fairytale
She had to fight them all before they got to her
The sense in her head told her this time she couldn’t fail

So with leaden feet and a sorrow-bound heart
She fell in line with so many agents before her time
As a counter plan began to form in her head
She realised that victory alone could make her feel fine

So she went after each one of those callous hearts
Who were nothing but a hurdle to where she had to go
And with each falling soul she began to realise
That she felt her sea swept soul finally return to the shore

Now she would be better than anything they were
She had a head full of lessons and her heart held no void
And if they could see her now they’d be left to wonder
How she used their lethal sedative as her personal steroid


If you’d ask me to beg
I’d bring the whole sky down for you
If you’d make a request
I’d not sleep until all your dreams came true

If you’d ask me to help
I’d give you everything until I had nothing left
If you’d ask me to lend
I’d give until all of me was spent

If you’d ask me to lie
I’d speak of every evil I could find
If you’d ask me to die
I’d give my life to you and wouldn’t mind


In the little light that my half opened eyes dared to let in
As the rays of the morning sun painted tiny spots on my skin
I wished with every last inch of the fallen eyelash I could see
That threatened to crumble my dreams and all I believed

I wished that like the rays that cleared the fog of the night
I wished you would come back and clear the fog of my mind
Wished the meeting between us never had come to occurrence
I wished for everything that was there before this silence

And I wished for the strength to see this distance through
And I also wished I shouldn’t end up falling in love with you
And I sit here wondering exactly why I fell for you in the start
‘Cause now that you’ve gone this heartless girl has a broken heart


It wasn’t supposed to be this way
I’ve been misunderstood
It wasn’t supposed to hurt this way
Or to feel this good

We weren’t supposed to fall this hard
Or to think this would last
For when time made us fall apart
We came undone too fast

You weren’t supposed to be this brave
Or I, this old incompetent self
I wasn’t supposed to dig this grave
Now there’s no escaping this hell

Love wan’t supposed to hurt so fine
But it’s too late for all that now
‘Cause I had the audacity to call you mine
And mistook your lust for my love


Your eyes shining as though I could’ve been your heartbeat
Your heartbeat like a boom box playing my favourite song
My song that turned the grey night sky scarlet
The scarlet dripping like words of love into your eyes

Your eyes they shone like every girl’s desired knight
The knight who first steals then heals broken hearts
The hearts which need the best of words to heal
The heal which arrives disguised as love

The love which shines right through your eyes
Your eyes with so much calm that I survive
But to survive I need your words in my heart
My heart which is full of the pain he gave

The pain he gave got washed away in the pouring rain
The pouring rain which brought me to you
To you whose eyes shone like I were their heartbeat
And your heartbeat that reminded me of my favourite song

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